For Sentimental Reasons...

(1965 Townsmen Club of Wilmington, NC Royce D. Rhodes, Sr 3rd from the right.)

Father's Day is one of those days that makes me smile my biggest and happiest.

After my mom passed, my brother and I lived with my father's parents: Mr & Mrs. Royce and Virgie Rhodes, Sr.  My grandfather and I always had a special bond.  From what I was told, it was from birth.  You see my grandfather was born Feb 14, 1914 (Valentines Day for those who do not recognize the date) and I was born Feb 7, 1973.  My grandfather would tell me periodically through my life that I was his early birthday/valentines gift and thusly called me "my sweet".

I can not remember a time in my life when I was not captivated by the quiet strength that my grandfather always exemplified.  He was not a loud man, a braggart, or arrogant man.  He was a modest, reserved and yet a very matter of fact man. A true gentleman.  Debonair, if I had to choose one word.  When he spoke - it was for reason and not trivialness.  To me it was like I had my very own Black King Arthur, LOL!! Nat King Cole was his favorite singer and Jeopardy was his favorite TV show.

My grandfather walked the walk -- and NOT talked the talk.  He showed me how a man should really treat and love a woman through his interaction not only with my grandmother and myself but all women that came within is contact.  One of the most memorable moments in my life was when he escorted me in the 1989 Delta Sigma Theta Debutante.  He was a proud man, that night...wore his OWN tuxedo.  As we finished our father-daughter dance, he whispered to me "I love you and you have made me proud" it was all I could to keep from crying the rest of the evening.

Chidley Dormitory, North Carolina Central University

Now my daddy on the other hand was LOUD, energetic, and the life of a party.  He knew how to walk into a room and captivate that room in less than 60 seconds.  He should have been a politician!  My daddy could make you laugh until your sides split and make you madder than a hornets nest all in the same sentence.  My father was a man of culture and no limits.  My father was worldly and very confident. My father was what one could say was suave and cool! He would make my brother and I read newspaper articles and tell him a summary of what we read.  He taught us basic spanish at an early age and his favorite shows were Perry Mason and Justin Wilson's Cajun Cooking show "I guar-on-tee"  LOL!!

These two men cut of the same cloth but as different as night & day yet taught me so much about life and men.

Today I salute my grandfather and my father  Royce Dewes Rhodes, Sr and Royce Dewes Rhodes, Jr.  you two are no longer with me in body - but through the values and lessons you taught me I live my life accordingly everyday.  I also, make a point to instill those values into my son.

Not every man - is a dead beat dad.
Not every man - is an abusive husband and father.
Not every man - is an adulterer
Not every man - is a sperm donor
Not every man - is a thug
Not every man - is a ____________(fill in with your own negative statement)


So for sentimental reasons I love these two men so much and I thank God for blessing not just myself but my family and friends with the opportunity to love and be loved by these same men.

That Girl...

I used to be "That Girl"...


You know "That Girl" who would say things like "I only date men who are ...".  I never realized how condescending it sounded.  I never realized how belittling or arrogant the statement could be.


As I have grown older, I have come to acknowledge my naivety and ignorance I exemplified anytime I would voice thoughts such as above.  There is nothing wrong with preferences, although preferences should not supercede the value and worth of a person.  When you focus on the height, weight or career of a person you miss the character and integrity of a person.  Basically, when you proclaim views such as these you are limiting yourself.  Often times you miss the person or blessing because a person has now limited their view.  


You let your eyes lead opposed to wisdom.


My Grandma Maebelle used to tell me all the time, to guard the windows of your soul.  Those windows are your eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. In principal pay attention to the things you see, the things you hear, the things you say and eat and things you smell.  Smell, yes she confused me on that one too - basically because scents can trigger thoughts of good and bad experiences.  Nevertheless when you allow superficial items to guide your decisions - you can lose sight of what may be on the horizon.


An example would be, a person says "I will only date a man/woman that is a certain height", -- blinding you to the fact that this person is irresponsible or and not accountable. Thusly, if you would have just allowed yourself to focus on the spirit of the person you are meeting you would clearly see the individual you are dealing with whether they are a good /bad fit for you.  


This type of rationale is used in a variety of ways in our lives, not just limited to physical attributes. These statements are also used in reference to a person's salvation, "I am not going back to church until..." In terms of people's health, "I am not going to eat healthy or exercise until..." 


The Bible speaks highly of gaining wisdom for your life's decisions 


 Prov 4: 5-9 Get wisdom; develop good judgment.  Don't forget my words or turn away from them.  Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.  Love her, and she will guard you. Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!  And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. If you prize wisdom, she will make you great.  Embrace her, and she will honor you.  She will place a lovely wreath on your head;  she will present you with a beautiful crown.”


Today, begin the process of not limiting your thinking.  Open your life up to the blessings that are before you.  


Don't be "That Girl" or "That Man"...vow to live your life as limitless as possible, so you may be abundantly blessed in all your endeavors.

Family Love

I have come to realize that I have family members and people in my life that I care a whole lot about and love but it is has become very obvious they do not feel the same about me.  Family is more than just an affiliation, sharing of blood lines or last names.

It also means but not limited to, reaching out on occasion -- calling and checking on someone. Send a simple text, email or voicemail to say I love you and you are on my mind.  Not being so wrapped in your own lives that the only ones you consider family are the ones you have immediately around you because that is who you lay your eyes on every day.

We can not pick and chose who God gives us as biological family, yet we can respect, show appreciation for them and let them know they too are valued and worthy EVEN if they are not making the strides that you are.

Each person's walk is individual -- yet unique.

Exhibiting God's love does not begin with those outside of your home it begins right in YOUR home.  Then moves outward to be a reflection of what is being shared there.

Many will tell a friend, church/work family or social network associate that they love them before even opening their mouths to the ones that God has GIVEN to YOU.

Everyone's life has meaning and purpose - something that can always be learned from regardless if you have gone through their experience or not.

Whether you understand their choices, their character or their personality means NOTHING if you are not first doing what God has already and constantly does for us each and every day -- and that is to UNCONDITIONALLY without expectation LOVE our siblings, parents and cousins.

I encourage you to evaluate your life today.

Stop thanking the Lord for Loving you for the sinner you/WE are - if you are NOT willing to LOVE the imperfect people in yours..

People watching.

I encourage you to have a wonderful day. Think about how you are portraying  yourself to others.  Our integrity and character is all we have that stays with us to the grave.  Everything else material, family and friends all leave us at some point in our lives  

Strive to be the person that is consistent in all you do.  No secret behaviors.  Be consistent, whether you are interacting online, on your job, and in your home.  For at some point if you are not it will be seen and you may not be happy with the reaction you receive when others acknowledge this imbalance.   

'Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.' ~Lao Tse

Have a productive and fantastic day.

FNR

Your interactions will be the bridge that takes you to and from the destinations in your life.

It Pays To Serve Jesus....

Next to The Lord Be Praised this is truly my favorite hymn of all time.  Paul Hefflin is a remarkable singer and he truly personifies perfection while singing this..
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I dedicate this to all who are having challenges just as I, stay encouraged our Lord and Savior knows our hurt, our pain and he loves us more than words can explain

These arms of mine...

Sometimes the only thing that can describe your emotions is a song.


These arms of mine 
They are lonely, lonely and feeling blue 
These arms of mine 
They are yearning, yearning from wanting you 

And if you would let them hold you 
Oh, how grateful I will be 
These arms of mine 
They are burning, burning from wanting you 
These arms of mine 
They are wanting, wanting to hold you 

And if you would let them hold you 
Oh, how grateful I will be 
Come on, come on baby 
Just be my little woman, just be my lover, oh 
I need me somebody, somebody to treat me right, oh 
I need your woman's loving arms to hold me tight 
And I...I...I need...I need your...I need your tender lips

2012 Proverbs 31 woman...

I'm striving to be even just the shadow of she.